The scandal of teacher unions...

From the Wall Street Journal:

"Teach for (Some of) America"

Here's a quiz: Which of the following rejected more than 30,000 of the nation's top college seniors this month and put hundreds more on a waitlist? a) Harvard Law School; b) Goldman Sachs; or c) Teach for America.

If you've spent time on university campuses lately, you probably know the answer. Teach for America -- the privately funded program that sends college grads into America's poorest school districts for two years -- received 35,000 applications this year, up 42% from 2008. More than 11% of Ivy League seniors applied, including 35% of African-American seniors at Harvard. Teach for America has been gaining applicants since it was founded in 1990, but its popularity has exploded this year amid a tight job market.

So poor urban and rural school districts must be rejoicing, right? Hardly. Union and bureaucratic opposition is so strong that Teach for America is allotted a mere 3,800 teaching slots nationwide, or a little more than one in 10 of this year's applicants. Districts place a cap on the number of Teach for America teachers they will accept, typically between 10% and 30% of new hires. In the Washington area, that number is about 25% to 30%, but in Chicago, former home of Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, it is an embarrassing 10%.

This is a tragic lost opportunity. Teach for America picks up the $20,000 tab for the recruitment and training of each teacher, which saves public money. More important, the program feeds high-energy, high-IQ talent into a teaching profession that desperately needs it. Unions claim the recent grads lack the proper experience and commitment to a teaching career. But the Urban Institute has studied the program and found that "TFA status more than offsets any experience effects. Disadvantaged secondary students would be better off with TFA teachers, especially in math and science, than with fully licensed in-field teachers with three or more years of experience."

Read the rest here.

The perils of modern media on the youth

This story is just sad. What a tragedy. But one wonders... what did her parents initially teacher her (if anything) that she'd send a nude photo to a boyfriend??? Did they even try to restrict cell phone usage and MySpace???? All that stuff is garbage and is really the heart of the matter.

Family wants tougher laws
By Cindy Kranz

Jessica Logan's nude cell-phone photo - meant for her boyfriend's eyes only - was sent to hundreds of teenagers last year in at least seven Greater Cincinnati high schools.

The 18-year-old Sycamore High School senior was then bombarded with taunts: slut, porn queen, whore.

On July 3, Jessie hanged herself in her bedroom.

She was Albert and Cynthia Logan's only child.

"My only baby that I will never be able to touch again," Cynthia Logan said through tears. "I will never have grandchildren. I will never be able to hand down my heirlooms. I'm just devastated by these parents that allow their children to do and say anything they want."

Now, Jessie's parents are attempting to launch a national campaign seeking laws to address "sexting" - the practice of forwarding and posting sexually explicit cell-phone photos online. The Logans also want to warn teens of the harassment, humiliation and bullying that can occur when that photo gets forwarded.

Cynthia Logan and Parry Aftab, an attorney and one of the leading authorities on Internet security and cyberbullying, plan to attach Jessie's name to a national campaign to educate teens about the dangers of sexting.

Aftab, based in New York, is the catalyst for a network of volunteers working to stop cyberbullying. She operates two Web sites: wiredsafety.org, the world's largest and oldest cyber safety organization, and stopcyberbullying.org.

"Schools need to understand our kids are targeting each other and how technology is being used as a weapon," Aftab said. "None of them (the schools) know what to do. Many of them ... think it's not their problem. They want to close their eyes and put fingers in their ears, saying it's a home issue."

Compassionate and carefree
Jessie's friends and family described her as an artistic, bubbly, compassionate carefree spirit who had many friends in several schools. She was also a "tiger," who would relentlessly stand up for someone.

"But she couldn't stand up for herself," Albert Logan said.

"I think when you're constantly knocked down, you lose your self-esteem," his wife added.

Jessie was not alone in sending nude cell-phone photos. Her friends point to the increasing pressure on teenage girls to send nude photos to their boyfriends.

A national study by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy revealed that 1 in 5 teen girls or 22 percent say they have electronically sent or posted nude or semi-nude images online of themselves.

Some area school resource officers and principals estimate that at least half of the students have an inappropriate photo on their cell phone.

After the cell-phone photo was disseminated, Jessie's outgoing personality turned inward.

The Logans blame a circle of five friends from three other high schools for forwarding the photo.

According to Cynthia Logan, Jessie took the photo and sent it to the boy she had been dating for one to two months. He, in turn, forwarded it to four girls, she said. Efforts to reach the former boyfriend were unsuccessful.

Lauren Taylor, a friend since childhood and a Sycamore senior last year, discovered the photo had been forwarded when two girls in her class showed it off. She broke the news to Jessie.

"Her head just dropped, and she started crying," Lauren said. "And then, we went straight up to the counselor's office. And after that, she did not want to go back out in the hallway.

"She just totally changed. She wasn't as outgoing and kind of kept to herself, where she would normally be like jumping around. Instead her head was just down, and she would always be crying," Lauren said. "I remember her constantly calling my phone crying."

When the taunting started at school, Jessie skipped classes, sometimes slipping out a door to sleep in her car in the parking lot. When truancy notices showed up, her mother started dropping her off at school, but Jessie hid crying in the school bathroom.

"I watched her get kicked out of maybe three or four parties over the summer just for having 'a reputation,' " said Steven Arnett, a friend of hers who graduated last year from Moeller High School.

After seeing what Jessie went through, he said, "There's no reason to send pictures like that, no matter what a guy asks for. I don't think that's an acceptable thing to do."

She couldn't even escape when she went home, her close friends said.

"I'd be with her and she'd get numbers that weren't even in her contacts, random numbers that she didn't know, texting her, 'You're a whore, you're a slut,' " Lauren said.

"Or, she'd get on MySpace and get messages from people calling her those names, or Facebook would be the same way. It was constant. She'd go home thinking, 'Oh I'm going to get away from this,' but she never could get away from it."

The Logans said Sycamore High School and the school resource officer didn't do enough to help Jessie. Sycamore sent truancy notices, Cynthia Logan said, but no calls or letters about what was happening to her daughter in school and no notices to other parents about explicit cell-phone photos. And no charges were filed by the resource officer, she said.

Sycamore Superintendent Adrienne James said she couldn't discuss specifics of Jessie's situation. The perils of technology was a topic at a parent information night, she said.

"It is a form of bullying, and that is something we cannot tolerate. The difficulty is stopping it. ... That's why we stress with our kids that the moment you push 'send,' the damage is done."

Educators and parents must be involved, James said, in talking to teens about making good choices, positive self-imaging and avoiding risky behaviors.

Montgomery Officer Paul Payne, the school resource officer, said he confronted some of the girls who forwarded Jessie's photo, even though they attend another school. He asked them to delete the photo from their phones.

"Could she have pressed charges? No, because she's 18," Payne said, adding that there were some areas that could have been explored. "The investigation stopped at her wish, because she basically didn't want this to go any further. ... You respect the wishes of an 18-year-old. In the eyes of the law, she can make her own decision."

Payne said he supports the Logans' efforts to change laws. "Let's face it. The law hasn't caught up to what the original law was designed for."

Jessie expressed regrets about taking and sending the photo, her mother said. She wanted to warn other kids. At Payne's suggestion, she did an anonymous television interview.

"My little girl wanted to get the message out to other children not to make the same mistake she did," Albert Logan said.

Despite missing so much school, Jessie graduated. She began making plans for a new job and college at the University of Cincinnati, where she would major in graphic design.

Then, a 16-year-old Sycamore student hanged himself last June 27. Cynthia Logan put her arms around her daughter, who was sobbing when she heard. Against her parents' wishes, Jessie went to his visitation and funeral, because a friend needed a ride.

'She snapped all of a sudden'
After the boy's funeral, Jessie went to Lauren's house and ranted about why the boy had committed suicide.

"She just kept crying," Lauren said. "Basically, what she kept saying was, 'How could he do this to his family? How could he put his family through so much pain, and his friends? ... I never thought that she would go and do the same thing."

Later that day, Jessie's mother suggested that she just stay home and chill out.

Jessie complained that she was 18 and planned to go out.

Jessie took a shower before getting ready. Her dad was home. Cynthia Logan was on the phone with her brother, walking in the hallway, when Jessie came out of the bathroom and went into her bedroom.

"That is the last time I saw my daughter alive," Cynthia Logan said, her voice lowering to a whisper.

Her mother discovered Jessie hanging in her bedroom.

"There sat her phone. Her straightener was hot. She was ready to go out. I don't know what happened," she said, choking back tears. "It was impulsive, like she snapped all of a sudden. You have all this weight, and it was just one more thing."

The Logans may never have closure. She did not leave a note.

Jessie placed five phone calls before she died.

The Logans wonder if something that was said in a cell-phone conversation set her off during the last moments of her life.

Albert and Cynthia Logan have gone public with Jessie's story, hoping to change vague state laws that don't hold anyone accountable for sexting. They also want to warn kids about what can happen when nude cell-phone photos are shared.

"We want a bill passed," Cynthia Logan said.

"It's a national epidemic. Nobody is doing anything - no schools, no police officers, no adults, no attorneys, no one."

(Jesuit) Catholic universities - a total disgrace

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"The Invisible Mom"

Father Z. posted this, and it is stupendous.

"The Invisible Mom"
[comments and emphasis from the web site where I copied it]
by Anonymous

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’ Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England .. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: ‘To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’

In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals we have no record of their names.

[1] These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. [2] They made great sacrifices and [3] expected no credit. [4] The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.’ And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make everyday, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.’

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. [!]

When I really think about it, I don’t want my child to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, ‘You’re gonna love it there.’

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Media and Children

From Zenit...

Studies Show Need for Discernment

By Father John Flynn, LC

ROME, JAN. 25, 2009 (Zenit.org).- Media can be a positive influence in the lives of children and adolescents, but care is needed to avoid the negative side effects. This is the conclusion of a series of 10 short papers just released by the journal Children and Electronic Media.

The papers are summaries of research carried out by The Future of Children, which is a collaboration of the Woodrow Wilson School at Princeton University and the Brookings Institution that promotes policies and programs regarding children.

That media does affect behavior is certainly something that advertisers believe. The paper titled "Marketing and Media" noted that in 2003, American teenagers in the 12- to 17-year-old bracket spent $112.5 billion. In 2004, total U.S. marketing expenditures were estimated at some $15 billion to target products to children.

Television is still the most important medium for advertising to children, with children viewing approximately 40,000 advertisements per year on television.

Taking advantage of the fact that online marketing to children is far less regulated than television, however, the study noted that advertisers are moving to the Internet. Methods include embedding ads in games and using online chat forums to promote products.

Marketers have also developed tracking software that, in one example cited in the paper, allows children to transfer music from the Web, but also sends back information to the provider about the music preferences of each user.

Violence

One of the longstanding concerns regarding children and the media is over the issue of violence. The paper concluded that when children view media violence, they often act aggressively, experience fear, develop unrealistic perceptions concerning the violence that exists in the real world, or develop less advanced moral strategies.

These conclusions, the paper points out, are based on hundreds of studies made on the subject of the impact of media violence on children.

The paper commented that heavy viewers of television violence are affected in their capacity to reason morally. Such children are more likely to judge a hypothetical use of force as morally correct. In general these children displayed less advanced moral reasoning strategies.

It's not just television that brings youth into contact with violence, as many video games graphically portray violent activities. "The most popular video games played by youth contain violence, and these violent games have been linked to a host of aggression-related cognitive, emotional and behavioral outcomes," the paper observed.

Other negative effects

Violence isn't the only worrying aspect of media usage. A recent study published in the journal Pediatrics found a link between television and sexual activity, reported the Washington Post on Nov. 3. The researchers tracked more than 700 12- to 17-year-olds for three years.

If found that teens who watch a lot of television featuring flirting, discussion of sex and sex scenes are much more likely than their peers to get pregnant or get a partner pregnant.

"Sexual content on television has doubled in the last few years, especially during the period of our research," said the lead researcher Anita Chandra, according to the Washington Post.

Another article from the Washington Post, dated Dec. 2, reported that researchers from the National Institutes of Health and Yale University found strong connections between media exposure and problems such as childhood obesity and tobacco use.

The researchers collated the results of 173 studies and summarized the results. Approximately 80% of the studies showed a link between a negative health outcome and media hours or content, the Washington Post reported.

The study also said that the average modern child spends a total of nearly 45 hours a week using various forms of media, including television, movies, magazines, music, Internet and video games.

Video games can also be addictive for some adolescents. An extreme case was that of Canadian teen Brandon Crisp whose parents became so concerned over the amount of time he was spending on this that they prohibited any further use, the Globe and Mail newspaper reported Oct. 22.

Rather than give up his gaming, Brandon ran away from home on Oct. 12. He was subsequently found dead in the woods, apparently after falling from a tree.

The Globe and Mail said that concern over such obsessive use of Internet and video games led to the establishment in 2008 of the Center for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, designed to treat adolescents addicted to gambling, the Internet and video games.

"Technology has hit us like a bomb; the rapidity with which technology is advancing, we can't even describe it from a research perspective," said Cris Rowen, a pediatric occupational therapist and sensory specialist in Sechelt, British Columbia, to the Globe and Mail.

New developments

One of the papers looked at the topic of teens and the Internet. Instant messaging, social networking sites, video sharing, and multiplayer online games, are just some of the ways in which adolescents are online.

So far there is limited research on the effects of these various new forms of interaction have on teens, the paper admitted. Nevertheless, there is concern over cyberbullying and online harassment. Moreover, in many cases the victims of such bullying do not know the identity of their aggressor, making it more difficult to stop this harassment.

An article published Dec. 18 by the Wall Street Journal reported that a study of 3,767 middle schoolers published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that 11% reported being bullied on the Web recently. Another 7% said they had been bullied and admitted they had harassed others.

One recent case saw a mother from Missouri on trial for her part in a bullying that resulted in a 13-year-old girl committing suicide, reported the Associated Press, Nov. 28.

A federal jury could not reach a verdict on the main charge of conspiracy against Lori Drew, and she was found guilty of three misdemeanor charges.

In the trial, prosecutors said Drew and two others created a fictitious 16-year-old boy on MySpace and sent flirtatious messages from him to teenage neighbor Megan Meier. The boy then dumped Megan and insulted her, after which Megan hanged herself.

While most sites are aware of such problems the sheer volume of material makes it difficult to effectively monitor what is going on. According to the Wall Street Journal article, YouTube gets 13 hours of new video every minute.

Parenting

One of the papers published by Children and Electronic Media, titled "Parenting in a Media-Saturated World," commented that parents face a difficult task in regulating their children's media use. It's not just a question of preventing kids using the media because there are positive aspects, such as educational television programs, the paper continued. It also noted that marketing campaigns can promote healthy behavior among teens.

Even video games can have positive effects. Studies have found that playing video games can enhance visual awareness and increase capacity for processing information.

The paper did, however, point out that the use of educational television for infants and toddlers is questionable. Research suggests that under the age of three, children learn much more effectively from real-life examples than they do from video demonstrations.

"Be aware and be involved," was the paper's recommendation. Awareness includes understanding the various forms of media and types of content that your children are using. Involvement means monitoring the type of media being used by children, and also the amount of time being devoted to media use by children.

The paper also urged parents to put pressure on the media industry to develop better content, more accurate ratings systems, and to cut back on inappropriate advertising. No doubt these measures could help, but more than ever parents have to take responsibility for helping their children develop healthy media habits.

Gotta admit, sometimes that crazy lesbien is right!

Camille Paglia always has an interesting column. Here's from her latest:

The American system of higher education has become an insane assembly line -- bankrupting families to process hapless students through an incoherent, haphazard and mediocre liberal arts curriculum. In the '60s, there was a brief moment when middle-class young men were dropping out of college to become silversmiths or leather workers in San Francisco or Greenwich Village. As the product of an Italian-American immigrant family where the crafts were honored, I cheered that development and prayed that it would continue. But it sputtered out -- probably because the recession of the 1970s was a cold dose of reality.

Perhaps there's hope of change because of the tens of thousands of liberal arts graduates with expensive degrees who are finding themselves out of work and depressingly marginalized in a society where the manual trades offer guaranteed employment at relatively high wages. A dose of Buddhism might do people good: Sweeping garden sand into oceanic designs around ornamental rocks is considered a spiritual exercise in Asia. I say that landscaping, construction, carpentry, metalworking and all the other trades should be promoted by primary education as worthy careers for both men and women. The pre-college rat race is a sadomasochistic imposition on the young that robs them of free will and saps their vital energies. When will they rebel?

Tough to disagree with that.

A bizarre story in so many ways...

This really is strange:

Broward County School Board using text messages to report dangers
Like Crime Stoppers, the messages you send will not be able to be traced

By Akilah Johnson | South Florida Sun-Sentinel
January 14, 2009

Broward County Click here for restaurant inspection reports schools are keeping up with technology by offering students a way to send anonymous tips about danger on campus: text messaging.

Superintendent James Notter said that when he went to Dillard High School after a student was fatally shot there Nov. 12, he realized today's students are just as likely to send a text message as make a phone call.

And tipsters: Don't worry about text-message shorthand. Student government leaders and more youthful school officials will help translate the texts into traditional — and understandable — English.

"Any parent or adult who does read their children's text messages, it is a different language," Notter said. "Our students' generation has created their own language."

Read the rest.

7 Things Teenage Boys Most Need

Interview With Spiritual Director of Adolescents

WASHINGTON, D.C., JAN. 13, 2009 (Zenit.org).- Being the parent of an adolescent boy is legendary for its difficulty. But according to one priest who acts as a spiritual director and confessor for high school boys, just keeping in mind seven points can make for a better relationship with adolescent sons.

Legionary of Christ Father Michael Sliney suggests the following seven necessities for parents of adolescent boys:

1. Clear guidelines with reasonable consequences from a unified front; cutting slack but also holding boys accountable for their actions.
2. Reasonable explanations for the criteria, guidelines and decisions made by parents.
3. Avoiding hyper-analysis of boys' emotions and states of mind: avoiding "taking their temperature" too often.
4. Unconditional love with an emphasis on character and effort more than outcome: Encourage boys to live up to their potential while having reasonable expectations. To love them regardless of whether they make it into Harvard or become a star quarterback.
5. Authenticity, faith and fidelity should be reflected in parent's lifestyles.
6. Qualities of a dad: Manliness, temperance, making significant time for family, putting aside work, and being a reliable source of guidance.
7. Qualities of a mom: Emotional stability, selflessness, loving service and extreme patience.

In this interview with ZENIT, Father Sliney takes a deeper look at the seven points.

Q: What are some of the particular characteristics of this age group that parents and educators need to bear in mind?

Father Sliney: Well, one of the first and most important points is to recognize that they are no longer kids. Up to age 12, they are still kids. But from 13 onward, puberty kicks in and there is a lot more sensitivity; they are more easily irritated and they want to be treated like a teen, not like a kid.

At this age, teenage boys are discovering their identities and going through a lot of turmoil. It's a very sensitive time, and we need to pray for them and dedicate time to them, show personal interest, try to understand what they're thinking.

Q: How can a parent find the balance between being clear, firm and yet flexible?

Father Sliney: Explain to your son in advance: These are the guidelines and these are the consequences. The consequences must be reasonable. Every parent has an atomic bomb he or she can pull out -- taking away the Internet, the cell phone, or the driver's license, or keeping their bedroom door open -- but everything needs to be done in a fair way, in due proportion. You can't surprise a kid with a negative punishment that doesn't correspond to what he did.

Don't let the kids feel like there is no hope or that they have totally lost your trust. Striking the balance between being firm and cutting them some slack is important.

Also, it is better to be emotionless and rational when you reprimand them or make a point. Don't throw salt in the wound by making a punishment into an emotional ordeal. If you're going to ground your kid, do it in a rational, non-emotional way. Be brief. In the end, boys respect it more.

Q: How can parents motivate their kids to do the right thing?

Father Sliney: Don't explain it so much in terms of "right" and "wrong," but in terms of "wise" and "wrong." Explain the reasons behind why something is wrong or right and frame your motivations in a positive way.

For example, instead of telling your son, "Don't become a drug addict," help him to see how resisting the temptation is a great way to forge his character. When the issue of premarital sex comes up, flip it around: Instead of saying, "It's a mortal sin" or "You might get a disease," help him to look forward to his future wife, and to think of what a great gift he could offer her if he waits for her.

Q: Why should parents avoid probing into their sons' emotional life?

Father Sliney: Boys don't like to be analyzed under a microscope. Sometimes the worst possible question a parent can ask is: "How are you doing today? How are you feeling? You look a little sad." Don't analyze their emotions and state of mind. Girls might like to talk about their feelings and emotions, but most boys don't. If they had a bad day, they don't want to talk about it because it makes them feel vulnerable and weak.

Q: Do teenage boys really feel a lot of pressure to perform up to their parents' standards?

Father Sliney: Yes, they do feel a lot of pressure and they are very sensitive when they feel judged by how they perform instead of by who they are. They need the love and esteem of their parents. Parents should put the emphasis on their kids' characters and on the effort they make, not necessarily on the result that comes out. If a kid is honest, generous, prayerful, trying hard in school, and is still a B student, he's doing his best, and he should be encouraged. It's important for parents to have reasonable expectations and to encourage each boy to live up to his potential.

Q: How important is the good example of the parents?

Father Sliney: It is extremely important. We all hyper-analyze our parents and observe the example they set in all areas: If they are practicing what they preach, if they are faithful to each other, etc. High school is a very tumultuous, unstable time for boys. If these qualities of fidelity and authenticity are not there, and if there is not a stable, happy marriage, it's chaos. Troubled kids generally come from dysfunctional or broken families. Here we see the importance of a great marriage: If that's in place, you've got a pretty good chance of a teenager getting through in good shape. There are not too many cases of parents who've got it together having dysfunctional kids.

Q: Can you expand on the importance of the dad's role in relation to his son?

Father Sliney: Kids, especially in high school, need to spend time with their dad, doing things together. This time together creates a space for him to open up and talk if he wants to. Take him out to breakfast or out to a game. Look for ways that he would want to do something with you. Dads need to get personally involved with their sons and dedicate time especially to their more difficult kids. Making little gestures of kindness is so important. My dad used to stop in every night before going to bed. He showed me he cared by asking how I was doing with my homework, how things were going. It was just a quick gesture but it was very helpful.

We're living in a very feminized culture, so dads need to teach their sons what true masculinity is all about. Being masculine doesn't mean being a tough football player and lifting weights. Manliness means strong character, self-control, quiet strength, and getting through adversity without whining. Kids need to see the example of what it means to be a man in their dad. It's about having an internal toughness, not complaining, and not letting others tell you what to do. You're the man of the house, you think about things, and you have things under control.

If you're living an authentic life, it comes across. One time when I was a kid, we got a pretty serious tornado warning while we were out in the yard, cleaning up. My dad went to each one of us: He was calm, in control, and he knew what needed to be done. Once we were all in the basement, he was at peace, having a good conversation with us. He was a calming force, full of confidence and authenticity.

And dads need to be a reliable source of guidance because high school kids are looking for words of wisdom. Kids are looking for advice from the one they love. Dads need to be available, but also offer. Kids shouldn't be intimidated or afraid to approach their dad for advice.

Read the rest here.

The pitfalls of pre-natal testing...

This is a pretty interesting editorial from a Zenit.org reader...

False Judge and Jury
A comment on: Prenatal Testing: Worthwhile or Wrong?

A little over eight years ago, my niece heard these words from a woman, "I will not bring this child into the world." The woman was not an expectant mother, she was my niece's OB/GYN. At five months into her pregnancy, an ultrasound revealed my niece's child had no apparent brain matter. A subsequent ultrasound revealed that her son had an encephelocele and that the build up of spinal fluid had squished his brain to the top of his head making the brain itself undetectable on a regular ultrasound. Many experts advised termination of the pregnancy.

My niece and her husband decided to bring their little boy into the world even if it meant just a few precious moments with their little son or if it meant a lifetime of constant care. They had to find a neonatologist, a new delivery doctor and even a new pediatrician who would agree to care for their son with his special needs. Three months later, my niece gave birth to her second child. He was taken that week into surgery where they implanted a VP shunt to drain the excess spinal fluid to allow room for his brain. They were told their son probably would not see, hear, talk or walk.

Today, this young boy attends second grade, is preparing to make his first communion, sees and comments on the beauty that surrounds him, asks his grandma to play the piano for him, is surprisingly articulate and is able to walk. While he has occasional seizures, he is a thriving little person deserving of care. Ultimately, he is a child of God, deserving of the special place in this world that God intended for him.

I guess my point is, prenatal testing is very worthwhile when it helps to prepare doctors and parents to help the child in need of help, but it can be very harmful and seductive when "experts" become the judge and jury of such a child and use it as a means to determine which children should live and which children they refuse to bring into the world.

Thanks and God bless you!

Catherine Lemek

"Oh Bama..." [sigh]

This was emailed to me about Obama's school choice policy...

Barack Obama has made few policy pronouncements since his November election. But he and his wife have made a personal decision that is rich with policy ramifications: the choice of a school for their daughters. During the campaign, Obama said he supports charter schools, which are public schools that are free of some bureaucratic constraints, but that he opposes private school choice, because it doesn't work. Turns out it does work for the Obamas, who determined that no public or charter school in the nation's capital would be the 'best fit' for their daughters. Instead they chose Sidwell Friends, an exclusive private school that counts Chelsea Clinton among its alumni. No one should begrudge the Obamas for choosing the best possible school for their children. But we should begrudge Barack Obama for vowing to deny such choices to low-income parents. As Polly Williams, the state representative who gave birth to Milwaukee's school choice program put it, 'The president shouldn't be the only person who lives in public housing who gets to send his kids to private schools.'

"Finding Happiness"? - Avoid Disney...

Pictured: the whores, I mean, stars of Disney.

An interesting article; I tend to sympathize with such views. At the very least, I think too much animated TV can quash a child's imagination. Kids in my classes always have references to Disney, commercials, and TV... yet they cannot see real beauty or drama in literature. No wonder, it's crammed down their throats via the TV.

Disney accused by Catholic cleric of corrupting children's minds
A leading Catholic cleric has launched a fierce attack on Disney, claiming it has corrupted children and encouraged greed.
By Jonathan Wynne-Jones, Religious Affairs Correspondent
Last Updated: 9:21PM GMT 29 Nov 2008

Christopher Jamison, the Abbot of Worth in West Sussex, has accused the corporation of "exploiting spirituality" to sell its products and of turning Disneyland into a modern day pilgrimage site.

He argues that it pretends to provide stories with a moral message, but has actually helped to create a more materialistic culture.

In a guide to helping people find happiness, the abbot, who starred in the hit-BBC series The Monastery, warns that society is in danger of losing its soul because of growing consumerism and the decline of religion.

He suggests that many people have become obsessed with work, sex and eating in an attempt to ignore their underlying unhappiness, and criticises corporations and industries that have benefited from promoting false notions of fulfilment.

Fr Jamison, who has been tipped as a contender to succeed Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor as the next Archbishop of Westminster, targets the behaviour of Disney in particular, which he says is "a classic example" of how consumerism is being sold as an alternative to finding happiness in traditional morality.

While he acknowledges that Disney stories carry messages showing good triumphing over evil, he argues this is part of a ploy to persuade people that they should buy Disney products in order to be "a good and happy family".

He cites films such as Sleeping Beauty and 101 Dalmatians that feature moral battles, but get into children's imaginations and make them greedy for the merchandise that goes with them.

"The message behind every movie and book, behind every theme park and T-shirt is that our children's world needs Disney," he says.

"So they absolutely must go to see the next Disney movie, which we'll also want to give them on DVD as a birthday present.

"They will be happier if they live the full Disney experience; and thousands of families around the world buy into this deeper message as they flock to Disneyland."

He continues: "This is the new pilgrimage that children desire, a rite of passage into the meaning of life according to Disney.

"Where once morality and meaning were available as part of our free cultural inheritance, now corporations sell them to us as products."

Fr Jamison, who is one of Britain's most prominent Catholic clerics, claims that brands such as Disney market themselves to be about more than mere materialism to create an addiction to consumption.

"This is basically the commercial exploitation of spirituality," he says, adding that as a result Disney and other corporations "inhabit our imagination".

"Once planted there they can make us endlessly greedy. And that is exactly what they are doing."

The Walt Disney Company, founded in 1923 by brothers Walt and Roy Disney, is one of the world's biggest entertainment companies. It owns 11 theme parks and several television networks, while its Hollywood studios have produced more than 200 feature films.

Last week, the Archbishop of York, Dr John Sentamu, expressed similar concerns about the direction of society when he said that social cohesion has been eradicated due to "rampant consumerism and individualism".

In 2006, Lord Layard, the Government's "happiness Tsar", urged for a rethink of economic and social policy after concluding that the pursuit of financial success has led to a rise in depression and emotional impoverishment.

However, in Fr Jamison's new book, Finding Happiness, he suggests that many of the answers can be found by people living more simply.

The book, published this week, urges people to reject the superficial temptations offered by contemporary culture.

He criticises the obsession with celebrity, which he blames for creating jealousy and a society in which people are dissatisfied with their life.

"Celebrity news magazines do no apparent external harm, but are a complete waste of interior time and space.

"Envy tells us to stop facing the challenges of the present life and to live in some future fantasy. Such envy drives a large part of our consumer culture."

People need to learn to control their thoughts, and practice more self-discipline and self-control in their life, he says.

He says there are "eight thoughts" which need to be controlled to help people to discover happiness. Six of them (anger, pride, gluttony, lust, greed, and spiritual apathy or sloth) are found among the list of deadly sins. To this he adds sadness and vanity.

Fr Jamison has risen to be one of Britain's most well-known Catholic clerics following the screening of The Monastery, which was filmed at Worth Abbey where he is abbot.

Remember, just follow your dreams....

For my confirmand on the eve of his Confirmation Retreat...

The 'director of youth catechesis' at St. Peter's asked each 'sponsor' to write a letter to their 'candidate'. These terms apparently refer to what was formerly known as a spiritual advisor and a confirmand. Here's my letter to Ben...

Dear Ben,

I hope this note finds you well. I believe you are on your retreat this weekend, and I hope that you find the talks, activities, and social time fruitful for your faith. So many of these sorts of events are organized by adults who are intimidated by teenagers, and simply want to 'accommodate' the teenage 'youth culture'. This is a grave mistake. So, my hope and prayer is that the weekend is substantive, and that Truth is spoken boldly to you and to a generation of young people swimming in a 'culture of death' as Pope John Paul the Great and our current pontiff, Benedict XVI, have called it.

Allow me to launch right into my 'Confirmation Retreat' message for you…

Think about it, the current culture of iPods, internet, TV, DVD's, music, news, education, and politics are all geared toward one target audience: the adolescent teenage male. I would argue that the teenage male is the lowest form of human life on planet earth! Look at many of the young people around you this weekend. What do you see? A genuine desire for God, or a desire to fulfill one's immature feelings? Bold leaders proclaiming the Kingdom of God, or a bunch of petty followers who worry about wearing the right clothes and listening to the right music? What I am saying is that our superficial media culture is geared toward immaturity, materialism, banality, and sexuality: a culture of death. This culture of death is quite simply and literally a highway to Hell for young people. In a world of followers, we need leaders; the Church needs leaders; God needs leaders.

At the Fall, the human race was shattered into a thousand pieces, and scattered over all Creation. Our relationships, lives, bodies, souls, and even our planet are fundamentally broken. The 'Barak Obamas' (or any politician, really) of the world preach a lot of hype about 'change' and 'bringing the world together' and 'hope'. These hopes are a false Gospel at best, and the work of the Evil One at worst. You see, the Christian understands that the fallen world is fundamentally "a valley of tears", and that there is no such thing as 'heaven on earth' (only at mass!) or a utopia society without any suffering. When humans become prideful and start believing that they can create a 'heaven on earth', people are often exterminated, disregarded, annihilated, and blotted off the face of the earth. Such ideas are the Gospel of moral and spiritual relativism, of 'your truth is your truth, and my truth is my truth'. Such ideas exemplify a world that believes in freedom for freedom's sake; freedom without limits. Yet as we have seen in human history, when freedom is without limits, it turns into tyranny.

Back to the Garden... this freedom without limits takes us back to the sin of the Garden of Eden; the pride of humanity to make decisions about reality without God.

How do we change this? How do we participate in real change? What do you, Ben Pfenning, have to do with all of this???! Where ought you to turn? The answer is simple: The Church of Jesus Christ. Right after the Fall, God began working toward building His Church. He made a covenant with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Joshua, Samuel, King David, and others. He spoke to His Chosen People, the Jews, through His prophets Elijah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Isaiah, Hosea, and Daniel. Through it all, God was working to gather broken humanity, until His Son, Jesus Christ, became Incarnate, and Redeemed the world of its sin and death. This is the Church: the Gathering of the People of God.

To be a member of this real change and this real revolution only one thing is required: total submission to the Truth. Remember my morning prayer talks at Trinity earlier this year? Remember how the Bible is a divisive book? The Bible divides people into two classes; NOT those who are right and those who are wrong, but rather 1) those who seek the Truth and 2) those who do not seek the Truth.
The world around us is full of nice people. Most people don't want to bother anyone or be rude to anyone or get in anyone's way. In fact, in order to function as a member of our society, we HAVE to be nice people! So, being nice is not really a virtue, it's a requirement to live in a civilization such as ours; you'd have to be a fool to be otherwise! But as a Christian, what is required of us is NOT niceness, but HOLINESS! How many people can you think of today who are holy? Friends, teachers, priests, politicians, entertainers? Exactly. Not many. But this is one of the sacred marks of the Church: One, HOLY, Catholic, and Apostolic. Holy does not mean that we are pious snobs who simply pray all day. Holy means to be 'set apart' from the world; in the world but not of the world. We work, live, speak, and act according to the will of God, not of the ways and customs of the world. We speak Truth to a world that shies and hides from it.

St. Paul said in his first letter to the Corinthians: "If I preach the Gospel, this is no reason for me to boast, for an obligation has been imposed on me, and woe to me if I do not preach it!"
To hide from the Truth and to fail to proclaim it is silly. This is called 'pusillanimity' or weak-mindedness. This is the plague of the modern age. We are afraid of being opinionated; we are afraid of offending anyone by Truth, even when we know it is the will of God. This is pusillanimity. We see it in our schools, teachers, headmasters, politicians, parents, teenagers, college students, professors, priests, deacons, religious, bishops, and Confirmation catechesis programs!!! (Fortunately, we have not seen it in our popes recently!) Pusillanimity is everywhere, and it has been there from the very beginnings of the Church. Recall Abraham doubting in God, and Sarah laughing when it was prophesied that she would bear a son in old age; remember how King David became such a great sinner, even after his defeat of Goliath.
The greatest story, in my opinion, of pusillanimity in the Bible is about Simon Peter. Here it is, from the Gospel of Luke, chapter 5:

1 And it came to pass, that, as the people pressed upon him to hear the word of God, he stood by the lake of Gennesaret, 2 And saw two ships standing by the lake: but the fishermen were gone out of them, and were washing their nets. 3 And he entered into one of the ships, which was Simon's, and prayed him that he would thrust out a little from the land. And he sat down, and taught the people out of the ship. 4 Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, "Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught." 5 And Simon answering said unto him, "Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net." 6 And when they had this done, they enclosed a great multitude of fishes: and their net brake. 7 And they beckoned unto their partners, which were in the other ship, that they should come and help them. And they came, and filled both the ships, so that they began to sink. 8 When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, "Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord."

When Simon Peter realized who Jesus really was through the miracle, that indeed He was the Messiah, what was his response? "Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord!" How pathetic! But how honest. Simon Peter realized that this Jesus character was dangerous; dangerous to his own personal autonomy. Can you imagine, Simon Peter must have thought to himself,
"This Jesus, if I get mixed up with Him, I'll have to leave my fishing business. I'll have to sacrifice the comfort of my home. I'll have to speak the Truth to a world that doesn't want to hear it. I will uphold very unpopular ideas about what is right and what is wrong. I may even have to travel to strange lands (like Rome!) that are dangerous and far from home. And, oh my, I might even need to die for the faith and hope I have in Jesus Christ. This is simply too much to ask. I must retreat."
And then he falls to his knees before the God of the Universe and says, "Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord!" This is pusillanimity at the most profound level. It is amazing that Simon Peter changed his ways at all! But wait, it doesn't end here, for Simon Peter denied Christ 3 times, and ran away at His crucifixion. What a coward. He was the Prince of the Apostles, the one who proclaimed Jesus to be the Messiah when everyone doubted Him! What happened? Simon Peter was weak-minded. Yet Christ forgave him, and Simon ceased to be Simon, but became Peter.

Simon really became Peter, "the Rock", at the most important event in Salvation History other than the death and Resurrection of Christ: PENTECOST. The Holy Ghost descended upon the Apostles and fundamentally changed them, including Peter. The Holy Ghost strengthened them, just as Jesus had promised and the Holy Ghost remains with us even unto this very day. In fact, that is what Confirmation is all about: receiving the power of the Holy Ghost, as handed on by the Apostles and their successors from age to age. The graces you received at Baptism will now be completed at Confirmation; you were initiated into God's people at Baptism, Original Sin was wiped away and you were won again by Christ the change for eternal life; at Confirmation you will be strengthened like Peter and the Apostles by the Holy Spirit, and you will become an 'adult' in the faith. You will be given the great responsibility to "preach the Gospel" as St. Paul says… and woe to you if you get Confirmed and do not preach it with your life and words. Beware: Confirmation is all about the rite and the sacrament. When the bishop anoints you with the holy chrism oil and calls down the Holy Spirit, you have been touched in a permanent manner! You will fundamentally be marked by the God of the universe! You will become a full-fledged temple of the Holy Spirit.

When we look upon human history, we see a lot of weak-mindedness and human attempts at creating a perfect 'utopia'. As a young Christian on the verge of becoming an 'adult in the faith', we must identify the struggles of our age before us. These are the 4 most common areas where young men like yourself, trying to be decent Christians, most commonly crumble under pusillanimity:

1) Unfaithfulness to orthodox Catholic teaching
a. It is often 'cool' or 'freeing' to not listen to the Church's teaching on matters of faith and morals.
b. People often want to follow their own Gospel, one that fits their personal agenda.
2) Unchastity
a. Young men are swimming in a culture of death, where around every corner lust is seeking to allure them away from what is most important. We must be on guard at all times. We must guard our eyes and our thoughts from unchastity at all times. We must be willing to do violence to ourselves if necessary to honor this commandment of Christ. Violence meaning, not physically hurting ourselves, but radically avoiding the sin. If we find that we fall into lust on the computer, then don't use the computer. If we find that we fall into lust when we watch movies, then don't watch movies. That's what it means to follow Christ in a radical way. Obviously, we must avoid any sexual behavior outside of its proper ordering in marriage, lest we be consumed by such sin.
3) Materialism
a. We become selfish and obsessed with material things and activities. We are consumed by 'stuff'. The things and activities of our life are more important than the people we should love. It is said that the most successful lie that the Devil has gotten man to believe is the lie that the Devil does not exist. Such an idea can only flourish in an age of 'business'. "I'm too busy to pray." "I'm too busy to go to mass." "I'm too busy to love."
4) Failure to honor our authorities, especially God and our parents
a. We must always love and show deference to those in authority over us, especially God and our parents. To not love God or our parents is to fail in just about every other area of our lives. "You shall love the Lord your God with all your mind, soul, and heart." "Honor thy father and mother." (Exodus)

Yet in the face of such sins as these, we also see amazing examples of Christians suffering in this fundamentally broken world and working to bring God's love into the world. These men and women are the saints, fearless proclaimers of the Truth of Christ and His Church. How do they do it? Through a total submission to God, and with the help of the Holy Spirit, and through daily examination of their conscience, and through the reception of Christ's most precious Body and Blood. The saints are the real heroes of history, for they help heaven and earth collide just a little more with their extraordinary love in ordinary situations. Have you thought about who your patron saint will be? Which saint will you call upon to prepare you for Confirmation, and to mystically stand at your side when the bishop calls down the Holy Ghost?

So, Ben, the question is this: Do you want to become a co-worker of the Truth? Do you want to be a saint? This is only a yes or no question, to say 'maybe' is to be weak-minded or pusillanimous. You are a good, young man, Ben! The Holy Spirit will do great things with and in you if you open yourself up to the immense powers of God in every moment of your life. I promise you, if you throw in with the Holy Ghost, so to speak, and you openly receive the graces, powers, and gifts of the Holy Spirit at Confirmation, you will find true happiness, truth fulfillment, and true Love. All you need to do, is to be open to the gift, and receive the Holy Spirit in a state of grace and prayer.

Ben, may God bless you many times over! I will continue to pray for you in all your endeavors. I will be praying fervently for a good retreat for you and your comrades! Remember, you are loved, and you are a son of the God of the Universe. Nothing on earth can possibly be more important than that!

Have a great weekend.

Blessings from your friend, teacher, and 'sponsor',
Michael
Nov. 1st, 2008, on the Feast of All Saints